A decade back it was the day of the youth.Nowadays,its their kids'.. kids upto the age of eight are now leaving the youth behind. They intelligent than us, learn quickly through keen observation and an open mind which doesnt exist in the elders as it gets corrupted by experiences in life over years. The exposure they get and the easy access to information has made the difference. Todays Parents,the youth of yester years put all their love, care and intelligence in bringing up their kids, gave them all they had wanted from their Parents but failed to get. However, these kids have left them wondering if what have done is right or wrong. They border lines of overconfidence, so sure about what they want and dont look for advice and neither listen.Tricking them is almost ruled out but there is great possibility of them tricking us. Is this intelligence for good is what we need to be thinking.
My neighbours son who is two years old, was having a chocolate. when I asked him if I can share a bite ,, he says " Yeh Devayi hai" ( This is medicine). He must have learnt it from someone else. Only that this time he applied it to his favor.
When I took my sisters kid who visited us for her vacation for purchase, she just wontstop showing me pieces which she felt would definitely look good on me. Two mins after I enquire the attendant about a piece on whether its cotton or not, she pulls up another one and asks him " Is this cotton or metal? My periyamma doesnt want metal" She probably heard "material" as metal and was testing the knowledge she just gained. The attendant laughs " Metal a ??". She doesnt want to give up says " yeah.. dont you know metal.. Pithalai" I had to pull her out of the conversation when she got this response " Paapa pathira kadai poyichu pola inga vara munnadi" ( kid probably went shopping for vessels before coming here ).
My 4 year old neices' favorite pass time is Role play. Her name is Niranjani
Niranjani: Amma.. you are Niranjani and I am amma
Her mom: Ok
Niranjani: Niranjini.. how long its been since you woke up.. brush your teeth.. NOW
Her mom: OK
Niranjani: Oh Amma. Dont spoilt it. Do I say yes. I say No
Amma ( laughs): No mummy.. I wont
Niranjani: I am going to be angry now.. you better brush..
She gets bored at this point and comes to my Dad
Niranjani: Thatha. I am the chef. You want food. Ok?
Thatha: mmm...
Niranjani: What tiffin do you want?
Thatha: ( pretends not to understand intending to irritate her..) What?
Niranjani: Thatha.. What "TIFFIN" do you want? ( with little more volume and stress on the word Tiffin)
Thatha: What???
Niranjani: Oh thatha " What mum mum do you want?"
I can use this as an illustration for " paraphrasing " technique on call when training my team on phone etiquette. What we have to train adults to say and do, these kids know and do it naturally and by default.
All these sound good and nice still there are a lot of things to worry about as well.
My colleagues daughter wants her mom to wait until the hero/heroine undress before changing channels. If at all her Mom dares to, she says " they still have their clothes on .. why do you have to change the channel.. am enjoying watching it"
My sisters kid comments on catching me singing.. " Why do you always sing melody- ..You look so sad.. I feel sorry for you.." I asked her what then would make her feel that I am happy. She goes " sing nakka mukka or kathazhe kannalay". Thats the effect TV and media has on them.
My 12 yr old cousin doesnt want her mom to go to Parents teachers meet without straightening her frizzy hair. That is the importance they give to external beauty. I recently saw an ad where this girl says that she is ready to clean her room or worse even do dishes (!!!) if God can make here pimple vanish before the DJ night. Here cleanliness is about being without a pimple. Kids who are 8 or 9 yrs get waxing done on body hair. Hygiene, health and beauty are confused with one another. If clean skin has to be fair and flawless, where would all the dark skinned or pimpled population go
Talking about ads, Virgin mobile ads irritate me to the core. The entire value system is questioned and made fun of. Many of them expect me to see the humor and ignore it, what about the kids who grow up watching it everyday? Generation gap? I dont know.
Well, I started somewhere and deviated to these topics. Getting back,Are we going to feed their intelligence with something good or let them turn into a bunch whose values would be nothing but materialistic and fake? What about their life after their thirties when the charm and intelligence starts to fade, life becomes lonely and monotonous?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Women and travel
Two recent incidents, one involving a close friend of mine and another to which i was a silent spectator has made me give a lot of thought to this...
One of my friends who traveled from chennai to cbe in the night train alone had a tough time with a co passenger.Based on what he was talking over the phone she was able to make it that he was disturbed.. He took her water bottle and gulped it down fully without even bothering to ask her.. spilled food all over her seat and on top of it offered a 1000rs note when she complained about the water later. In addition he kept talking nonsense. And the climax.. to avoid facing him further.. she retired early only to catch him taking a snap of her using his mobile.. the rest of the passengers in the coach were immersed in themselves ( two were honeymoon couples on the way to ooty probably is what she said). When she complained to the TTR about the snap he brought in policemen and they said they cant do anything unless she files a complaint.This man was still behaving funny but the police wanted her to prove that he had indeed taken a snap of her.The other passengers in her coach were indifferent and couldnt/ didnt want to come forward. luckily a man from the press insisted that they take a look at his mobile.. even then they could make nothing but a blurred image ( obviously) and finally matched it to her face and dress somehow.Now.. the TTR arranged to give her another seat and the police gave a word to protect her. Still, she was alone when she got down at cbe.. what if the man followed her???If not anything else , she had lost her good nights sleep, peace, felt vulnerable and would never again be comfortable travelling alone in the night.
I had always dreaded night travel after having heard terror stories from other women and friends..of men brushing against.. putting their hands " accidentally " on you while passing by.. men smoking/ standing near the toilets etc..
Forget about the public acting/reacting/ helping women in such cases, the second incident shows how they wont even acknowledge the problems but make fun of it. I had to travel by bus to bangalore recently and could get tickets only by KPN. There was a girl who took the window seat next to me and her uncle/ dad had come to see her off. The man was little bit concerned about her travelling alone and kept advising her. He went to the driver then to enquire where the bus would make stops for food or refreshment.. the driverwent on to say" whenever needed". The old man insisted asking.. but dont you stop regularly at some place.. the driver says " We cant.. How can I find out when your daugther needs to piss.. she has to come and inform and we will stop ( the translated version looks less ugly.. these were his exact words " unga ponnuku eppo onnuku varum nu enaku eppidinga theriyum".. ) and laughed. He was so impressed at his quick wits that he repeated the same aloud so that the entire bus can hear it.The oldman couldnt retort obviously as his daugther still had to take the bus. I really havent known any woman travelling alone go to the driver and ask the bus to stop at some place... except for ones very old.. Even if they do.. how safe and convenient is it for them to attend to the natures call in such places.. This may sound cliched however would the driver like someone talking to his mom/sis/wife in the same manner.
Not only these,, its quite common to see men occupying " magalir mattum" seats in the bus. The conductors dont bother either even if someone complains. There are sarcastic comments passed sometimes " you say you are equal to men.. why dont you stand n come?".I dont expect them to give their seats away to healthy and young women.. cant they do it at least for the elderly women/ men.
Further,freedom/comfort in terms of dressing is also misunderstand..I am little conservative with respect to skin show however dont mind wearing clothes that are comfortable and fit the occasion n place. Still it doesnt mean that a man can comfortably rub against me while sitting next to me in the train just because I sport a jean. I have seen a very different behaviour when I wear a salwar which has that traditional look.. Modern dressing( even if decent) is considered as a sign of " accesibility" and different value system.
Still, in spite of all these inconveniences women manage to travel to work and earn. Working women MIGHT have financial freedom but it hasnt come in the easy and convenient way as it seems to be.
One of my friends who traveled from chennai to cbe in the night train alone had a tough time with a co passenger.Based on what he was talking over the phone she was able to make it that he was disturbed.. He took her water bottle and gulped it down fully without even bothering to ask her.. spilled food all over her seat and on top of it offered a 1000rs note when she complained about the water later. In addition he kept talking nonsense. And the climax.. to avoid facing him further.. she retired early only to catch him taking a snap of her using his mobile.. the rest of the passengers in the coach were immersed in themselves ( two were honeymoon couples on the way to ooty probably is what she said). When she complained to the TTR about the snap he brought in policemen and they said they cant do anything unless she files a complaint.This man was still behaving funny but the police wanted her to prove that he had indeed taken a snap of her.The other passengers in her coach were indifferent and couldnt/ didnt want to come forward. luckily a man from the press insisted that they take a look at his mobile.. even then they could make nothing but a blurred image ( obviously) and finally matched it to her face and dress somehow.Now.. the TTR arranged to give her another seat and the police gave a word to protect her. Still, she was alone when she got down at cbe.. what if the man followed her???If not anything else , she had lost her good nights sleep, peace, felt vulnerable and would never again be comfortable travelling alone in the night.
I had always dreaded night travel after having heard terror stories from other women and friends..of men brushing against.. putting their hands " accidentally " on you while passing by.. men smoking/ standing near the toilets etc..
Forget about the public acting/reacting/ helping women in such cases, the second incident shows how they wont even acknowledge the problems but make fun of it. I had to travel by bus to bangalore recently and could get tickets only by KPN. There was a girl who took the window seat next to me and her uncle/ dad had come to see her off. The man was little bit concerned about her travelling alone and kept advising her. He went to the driver then to enquire where the bus would make stops for food or refreshment.. the driverwent on to say" whenever needed". The old man insisted asking.. but dont you stop regularly at some place.. the driver says " We cant.. How can I find out when your daugther needs to piss.. she has to come and inform and we will stop ( the translated version looks less ugly.. these were his exact words " unga ponnuku eppo onnuku varum nu enaku eppidinga theriyum".. ) and laughed. He was so impressed at his quick wits that he repeated the same aloud so that the entire bus can hear it.The oldman couldnt retort obviously as his daugther still had to take the bus. I really havent known any woman travelling alone go to the driver and ask the bus to stop at some place... except for ones very old.. Even if they do.. how safe and convenient is it for them to attend to the natures call in such places.. This may sound cliched however would the driver like someone talking to his mom/sis/wife in the same manner.
Not only these,, its quite common to see men occupying " magalir mattum" seats in the bus. The conductors dont bother either even if someone complains. There are sarcastic comments passed sometimes " you say you are equal to men.. why dont you stand n come?".I dont expect them to give their seats away to healthy and young women.. cant they do it at least for the elderly women/ men.
Further,freedom/comfort in terms of dressing is also misunderstand..I am little conservative with respect to skin show however dont mind wearing clothes that are comfortable and fit the occasion n place. Still it doesnt mean that a man can comfortably rub against me while sitting next to me in the train just because I sport a jean. I have seen a very different behaviour when I wear a salwar which has that traditional look.. Modern dressing( even if decent) is considered as a sign of " accesibility" and different value system.
Still, in spite of all these inconveniences women manage to travel to work and earn. Working women MIGHT have financial freedom but it hasnt come in the easy and convenient way as it seems to be.
Monday, January 5, 2009
No Honk please
Most of us have been victims of noise pollution thats been on exponential increase in the last few years but there is very less thought we give to it. Rather, we hardly react. What is with noise, todays gen and their obsession with it?? It has gone so far that we need a Guru to come down and show us how much peace and happiness can be felt at heart if we can just remain quiet for sometime and listen to nature talk... I thought about this a lot during my visit to Dhyanalinga (Isha). The volunteers even asked the ladies to remove their anklets or other jing bang stuff they usually wear as accesories. All that you have to do is sit down, remain silent in the hall when you get to hear the sound of waterfall and some mild music. One way, I am glad someone came up with this. On the other hand it saddens me that we expect another person to show this to us.. Do we have to be " taught" all these?
I am a person very sensitive to sound. Unlike most music lovers, I have always listened to songs with optimal volume and the same applies when I watch TV. My mobile ringing volumes are mostly at the average level. I go with cotton in my ears to watch movies these days because of the "DTS effect" and needless to mention most tam movies villains and heroes keep screaming Aye! Aye! for no reason..
Though all the above can be countered in some way or the other and the entertainment part of it compensates for the trouble, something I just am not able to cope up with is the sound of honking..
While there are times when honking is absolutely necessary, I can say that about 90% of the times its not. As against need, It is done out of habit ( few drivers just cant take their hands of the horns), frustration,anger,fear, impatience, hurry or just to irritate someone and enjoy, eve teasing ( oh yes) and few for pleasure !?!? As I am sitting in my room writing this.. I can hear the honking outside in the road. I live in a residential area where traffic is comparitively less and so is the need for blowing horns to this extent.
As always, I was complaining about this one day while waiting near the signal,listening to the people honking incessantly ( come on.. there is a red signal and we cant move.. do you want us to break it? aaaaarggggggggggggghhhhhh) Thats when I got this what you can call an idea.. its kinda ridiculous but I felt so much peace to event think of how it will be if implemented.. Idea is a Manual honk... Provide all drivers with a whistle which they have to blow if they need to honk.. Wow.. will any driver honk unnecessarily therafter.. the effort that the task will take will stop them from doing it unnecessarily.. if they honk ( whistle) at the same rate they do currently.. their lungs will explode .. I think the traffic regulatory board ( or whatever it is called) should think about this..
It seems highly stupid and kiddish but the kinda irritation I have been thru and headache it has given has made me think in these terms.. I remember an ex boss of mine mention during his visit to India from US that he must have hardly used the horn twice in his life time. He was 54 that time.. Even if that seems too good to be true cant we minimise it to 2 times or when in need (whichever is higher) on a days drive??
As against the usual Horn Ok please sign I read that No honking day stickers were seen on vehicles on April 7, 2008 which is was observed as No honking day in Mumbai. It is Jan 1st this year in Delhi. But this is not about a day, isnt it? How many of us even know that unnecssary honking is an offence? I was surprised to read this "Blowing of horns unnecessarily, especially in silence zones, at signalised junctions/intersections, using multi-toned horns, pressure horns are illegal and punishable under section 177 of the Motor Vehicles Act 1988, attracting a fine up to Rs 100,". Instead of the fine, the Whistle option should work out better. We learn our lessons the hard way.
I am a person very sensitive to sound. Unlike most music lovers, I have always listened to songs with optimal volume and the same applies when I watch TV. My mobile ringing volumes are mostly at the average level. I go with cotton in my ears to watch movies these days because of the "DTS effect" and needless to mention most tam movies villains and heroes keep screaming Aye! Aye! for no reason..
Though all the above can be countered in some way or the other and the entertainment part of it compensates for the trouble, something I just am not able to cope up with is the sound of honking..
While there are times when honking is absolutely necessary, I can say that about 90% of the times its not. As against need, It is done out of habit ( few drivers just cant take their hands of the horns), frustration,anger,fear, impatience, hurry or just to irritate someone and enjoy, eve teasing ( oh yes) and few for pleasure !?!? As I am sitting in my room writing this.. I can hear the honking outside in the road. I live in a residential area where traffic is comparitively less and so is the need for blowing horns to this extent.
As always, I was complaining about this one day while waiting near the signal,listening to the people honking incessantly ( come on.. there is a red signal and we cant move.. do you want us to break it? aaaaarggggggggggggghhhhhh) Thats when I got this what you can call an idea.. its kinda ridiculous but I felt so much peace to event think of how it will be if implemented.. Idea is a Manual honk... Provide all drivers with a whistle which they have to blow if they need to honk.. Wow.. will any driver honk unnecessarily therafter.. the effort that the task will take will stop them from doing it unnecessarily.. if they honk ( whistle) at the same rate they do currently.. their lungs will explode .. I think the traffic regulatory board ( or whatever it is called) should think about this..
It seems highly stupid and kiddish but the kinda irritation I have been thru and headache it has given has made me think in these terms.. I remember an ex boss of mine mention during his visit to India from US that he must have hardly used the horn twice in his life time. He was 54 that time.. Even if that seems too good to be true cant we minimise it to 2 times or when in need (whichever is higher) on a days drive??
As against the usual Horn Ok please sign I read that No honking day stickers were seen on vehicles on April 7, 2008 which is was observed as No honking day in Mumbai. It is Jan 1st this year in Delhi. But this is not about a day, isnt it? How many of us even know that unnecssary honking is an offence? I was surprised to read this "Blowing of horns unnecessarily, especially in silence zones, at signalised junctions/intersections, using multi-toned horns, pressure horns are illegal and punishable under section 177 of the Motor Vehicles Act 1988, attracting a fine up to Rs 100,". Instead of the fine, the Whistle option should work out better. We learn our lessons the hard way.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Rain Rain dont go away
In an article of his, the founder of Isha asks why would Kids in India sing a rhyme to chase the rain away when rain is what we need . This shows our madness in following "english" culture irrespective of whether its applicable or not.. He also explains that English kids do have a reason to, cuz its very rare in their countries to see sunshine.. Why should it be the same here.. forget about rest of the factors.. even the countrys economy is dependent on the rains.TN has been in dark for quite sometime due to lack of rains at the right time and do we want our kids to chase rain away..
Right from childhood I have been warned not to get wet in rain.. when I dared to, I found out how much I had missed until then. Feeling the rain connects me to Nature and the Creator than ever and the bonding strengthens my love for them.Just like how the earth blooms on the receiving the rains.. so do we human beings.. It just that we have disconnected ourselves with nature so much offlate that we tend to miss the inherent beauty and wonder in it.
Rain has always been favorite to people related to art and entertainment. There are lots of lovely songs written on rain.. One of my favorite in terms of both lyrics and music( my Darlings of course) is "Sakkara Vaagamo" in En swasa Kaatre". Sadly, many movie makers have used the rain to either accentuate the contours of a scantily dressed female character in the movie or make her cling on to the hero on the strike of thunder.I dont know about the rest of the audience but it seems ridiculous to me.Rains evoke a lot more feelings in a person than just romance or lust. Its unfortunate that we have been focusing only on those.
I also remember reading this -The saddest quote by the funniest man ever born, Charlie Chaplins-“I love walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying”. Pain or pleasure be it whatever.. I usually sense my hidden and dormant emotions surface when I watch the rains or when I occasionally dare to get drenched . Rains bring out memories..they whisper a lovely song by your ears, they listen to your hearts cry, cajole and console you.While the rains usually evoke the spiritual side in you and make you realise your self as a part of the whole ..they also bring innocent smiles .. especially the ones in summer that come along with a rainbow and the sweet and unique smell. A real feast for your senses. Whenever I smell them.. I get this strong urge to taste mud(%&^&^%!!!) but my brains tease me and I stop with a steaming cup of tea and the hot tasty bajjis my mom makes. At those moments is when I realise that best things in life come free.. without demand..like the rain and Moms love. Thats when I wonder ..Can something be so simple yet feel so good..Why do we complicate our lives chasing things out of our reach.. chasing mirages and materials.. and the more we get the more we want..
Kids these days grow with an aggressive attitude. Survival of the fittest is the motto and they are required to destroy anything that comes in the way to get what they want. Parents teach their kids to dance, sing, swim, study only to compete and make money. How many teach values.. to "live" life and enjoy the beauty of the simple and sweet packages that come along with it. How many say.. " Kiddo.. here comes the rain.. Lets go get drenched.."
Right from childhood I have been warned not to get wet in rain.. when I dared to, I found out how much I had missed until then. Feeling the rain connects me to Nature and the Creator than ever and the bonding strengthens my love for them.Just like how the earth blooms on the receiving the rains.. so do we human beings.. It just that we have disconnected ourselves with nature so much offlate that we tend to miss the inherent beauty and wonder in it.
Rain has always been favorite to people related to art and entertainment. There are lots of lovely songs written on rain.. One of my favorite in terms of both lyrics and music( my Darlings of course) is "Sakkara Vaagamo" in En swasa Kaatre". Sadly, many movie makers have used the rain to either accentuate the contours of a scantily dressed female character in the movie or make her cling on to the hero on the strike of thunder.I dont know about the rest of the audience but it seems ridiculous to me.Rains evoke a lot more feelings in a person than just romance or lust. Its unfortunate that we have been focusing only on those.
I also remember reading this -The saddest quote by the funniest man ever born, Charlie Chaplins-“I love walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying”. Pain or pleasure be it whatever.. I usually sense my hidden and dormant emotions surface when I watch the rains or when I occasionally dare to get drenched . Rains bring out memories..they whisper a lovely song by your ears, they listen to your hearts cry, cajole and console you.While the rains usually evoke the spiritual side in you and make you realise your self as a part of the whole ..they also bring innocent smiles .. especially the ones in summer that come along with a rainbow and the sweet and unique smell. A real feast for your senses. Whenever I smell them.. I get this strong urge to taste mud(%&^&^%!!!) but my brains tease me and I stop with a steaming cup of tea and the hot tasty bajjis my mom makes. At those moments is when I realise that best things in life come free.. without demand..like the rain and Moms love. Thats when I wonder ..Can something be so simple yet feel so good..Why do we complicate our lives chasing things out of our reach.. chasing mirages and materials.. and the more we get the more we want..
Kids these days grow with an aggressive attitude. Survival of the fittest is the motto and they are required to destroy anything that comes in the way to get what they want. Parents teach their kids to dance, sing, swim, study only to compete and make money. How many teach values.. to "live" life and enjoy the beauty of the simple and sweet packages that come along with it. How many say.. " Kiddo.. here comes the rain.. Lets go get drenched.."
Monday, December 8, 2008
Mahathmas Mystery Monkeys and Movies
I had a strong urge to write about the movie Taare Zameen Par when I saw it first. I hadnt as I wasnt sure if my words could express what I felt and two.. I am not competent enough to review a movie. However I did suggest to whomever i spoke to( rather strongly.. I remember literally forcing the SlipTrip man) to watch it in the theaters. This is the first and only movie that I have watched thrice in the theaters.
What is making me write about it now? Well, I usually follow Saregamapa on Zee TV and this time the guest on the show was Aamir. I am not a person who confuses the reel heroes with the real ones.. But this man has become an exception. I would even vote for him if he chooses politics!! Until this happened, I have refrained from liking or disliking a person I haven't met or known in person except for one person.. the Darling of my heart AR Rahman.I am surprised to know that Aamir is close. Through out the show I found myself smiling at this man on screen either in appreciation or admiration. He didnt crack jokes..neither was he quick witted or spontaneous like Shah rukh or say Salman. Still there was a sincerity about whatever he said and did.
One another factor that I was able to relate to .. He seems to be a person who always looks at perfection and keeps doing a self assessment. To be able to do that.. he needs practice/rehearsals on everything he does, to improvise. He is not spontaneous enough to link to the participants quickly or even take compliments from them and react. Two participants mentioned very emotionally how they were able to relate to the movie and his reaction was hardly anything but a shy/happy smile . He was very conscious of his extempore performance. He played the drums on request from a Judge and sang Ay.. Kya bolti tu but did mention hat he might spoil the effect the song had on the audience earlier when the movie was released. I should rather be seeing this as a flaw.. (I was really upset with our Superstars stage presence at an Award function of NDTV, when he had to answer questions from Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan) Surprisingly I wasnt able to in case of Aamir.. That is when I realised it was due to this movie he has given us.If this man can deliver something as good as TZP on his debut what more do we need to admire him.
I am not good at analysing a movie at all angles -talk about its techincal superiority or directorial touch.. still I can say that TZP is the best by all means of the movies I have seen offlate. The story, cast, music n lyrics( simply superb),dialogues, the script, the colors, the costumes - the lady who play Aamirs pal looks fresh as a flower with beautiful same time decent attire..Even the names chosen for the characters are unique and thoughtful. You cry and laugh and react to every single action of every character in this movie. I happened to watch it with my Parents once , with my my friend and her husband and then with my sis and mom again. All of them enjoyed it. There is no age limit or range for liking this movie. I have seen Mothers shed tears on watching or hearing this wonderful song Maa.. and so have I though I am not one yet. It brings out the Mom in every woman and what else can stand proof for the movie being good. Than anything else it highlights the positive side, speaks about the forgotten values of human bonding and emotions in this fast competitive and materialistic world
I have always felt that a movie has to portray all the good things in the world .. and deliver implied messages in a pleasant manner as against those that show violence and are sleazy and shocking in the name of reality, especially the psycho movies. It brings out the hidden emotions and the animal in people who otherwise see it as uncommon and try to suppress them. We are what we see hear and say. Isnt that what our Father of the Nation suggested through the Three monkeys.. that if we do not hear, see or talk evil, we ourselves shall be spared all evil.Its time that the entertainment industry took some responsibility for the societys wellbeing and not cleverly use the chicken egg concept to say we are showing what is there already and what is liked..Few of them claim that they leave it to the audience to take what is good and leave the bad behind.. If all a max percentage of human beings are capable of doing that.. the world wont be what it is today. If not all atleast a percentage of movies that each person makes, does and distributes should belong to a socially responsible or atleast pleasant and decent category- movies that are good to hear see and talk about and not evil.
I was really happy to hear that TZP is Indias official entry into the Oscars. This movie has proved wrong that a good decent make devoid all the regular conventional masala wont be a commercial success.. I am not sure if it will win an oscar but it already has according to me.
What is making me write about it now? Well, I usually follow Saregamapa on Zee TV and this time the guest on the show was Aamir. I am not a person who confuses the reel heroes with the real ones.. But this man has become an exception. I would even vote for him if he chooses politics!! Until this happened, I have refrained from liking or disliking a person I haven't met or known in person except for one person.. the Darling of my heart AR Rahman.I am surprised to know that Aamir is close. Through out the show I found myself smiling at this man on screen either in appreciation or admiration. He didnt crack jokes..neither was he quick witted or spontaneous like Shah rukh or say Salman. Still there was a sincerity about whatever he said and did.
One another factor that I was able to relate to .. He seems to be a person who always looks at perfection and keeps doing a self assessment. To be able to do that.. he needs practice/rehearsals on everything he does, to improvise. He is not spontaneous enough to link to the participants quickly or even take compliments from them and react. Two participants mentioned very emotionally how they were able to relate to the movie and his reaction was hardly anything but a shy/happy smile . He was very conscious of his extempore performance. He played the drums on request from a Judge and sang Ay.. Kya bolti tu but did mention hat he might spoil the effect the song had on the audience earlier when the movie was released. I should rather be seeing this as a flaw.. (I was really upset with our Superstars stage presence at an Award function of NDTV, when he had to answer questions from Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan) Surprisingly I wasnt able to in case of Aamir.. That is when I realised it was due to this movie he has given us.If this man can deliver something as good as TZP on his debut what more do we need to admire him.
I am not good at analysing a movie at all angles -talk about its techincal superiority or directorial touch.. still I can say that TZP is the best by all means of the movies I have seen offlate. The story, cast, music n lyrics( simply superb),dialogues, the script, the colors, the costumes - the lady who play Aamirs pal looks fresh as a flower with beautiful same time decent attire..Even the names chosen for the characters are unique and thoughtful. You cry and laugh and react to every single action of every character in this movie. I happened to watch it with my Parents once , with my my friend and her husband and then with my sis and mom again. All of them enjoyed it. There is no age limit or range for liking this movie. I have seen Mothers shed tears on watching or hearing this wonderful song Maa.. and so have I though I am not one yet. It brings out the Mom in every woman and what else can stand proof for the movie being good. Than anything else it highlights the positive side, speaks about the forgotten values of human bonding and emotions in this fast competitive and materialistic world
I have always felt that a movie has to portray all the good things in the world .. and deliver implied messages in a pleasant manner as against those that show violence and are sleazy and shocking in the name of reality, especially the psycho movies. It brings out the hidden emotions and the animal in people who otherwise see it as uncommon and try to suppress them. We are what we see hear and say. Isnt that what our Father of the Nation suggested through the Three monkeys.. that if we do not hear, see or talk evil, we ourselves shall be spared all evil.Its time that the entertainment industry took some responsibility for the societys wellbeing and not cleverly use the chicken egg concept to say we are showing what is there already and what is liked..Few of them claim that they leave it to the audience to take what is good and leave the bad behind.. If all a max percentage of human beings are capable of doing that.. the world wont be what it is today. If not all atleast a percentage of movies that each person makes, does and distributes should belong to a socially responsible or atleast pleasant and decent category- movies that are good to hear see and talk about and not evil.
I was really happy to hear that TZP is Indias official entry into the Oscars. This movie has proved wrong that a good decent make devoid all the regular conventional masala wont be a commercial success.. I am not sure if it will win an oscar but it already has according to me.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Happiness- where to find it?
Nothing can ever be right for you.. this is what one of my best friends told me during a heated argument. It could have come out just at the spark of the moment but there was hell a lot of truth in it. Its not that I am happy to hear that from a friend.. it cant come from someone who is a true friend still I just looked back to see what had gone wrong and why. I probably lost the friend in that process but found myself back..
Somehow I feel that how much ever women pose to be or want to be self reliant or independent its tough for them. I might be wrong in generalizing but this is how I find it. I see that my happiness is mostly built around others.. their acceptance and acknowledgment. Please don't read this as "sacrifice" or being " selfless" cuz its still " my" happiness. All the time, I expect others to keep me happy and it
has never come from within except for very very rare instances. Right from childhood its been that way. I do a painting..I need that nod from my Dad to feel good about it be it the best or worst of my paintings. Its another thing that my Dad loves me too much to say anything bad about it. This way.. he has pampered me and kept me away from what is the real world. when he got tired and let me to face it.. it threatened me and I was almost lost for sometime. I kept running from one to another be it my work.. me singing or painting, writing.. sharing a joke.. expressing love and affection .. For both the simplest and most complicated things I needed acceptance from others. Few of them are fortunate enough to get it from one or the other all the time. Few like me, who wish to be self reliant in few matters and dependent in other situations find it difficult because of the conflicting interests. When things that I do for others, ignoring the pain and hardship involved
expecting nothing in return but acknowledgment for the love ( not even reciprocation), goes unnoticed and worst.. is thrown back at me saying its of no use or never expected.. I feel hurt.
Women happiness is mostly built around people near and dear to them... which is why most of them are unhappy. I wont say this is as nature.. its in the way we are brought up. Its changing these days..Unlike those of my age or my Moms generations, girls these days are changing. They know what they want for their own self, have likes and dislikes of their own and know how to demand or get it. Earlier I used to despise them.. felt they were selfish. over smart or cunning. However then I realise that there has been lot of times when I have belonged to that category ..Even while I am sitting here writing this, my Moms out in the kitchen washing dishes.. I could have opted to help her but didn't as I am selfish.. Still, I cant but feel guilty about it which is why I chose to help her whenever she asks me to though not voluntarily. She would be really glad if I do it voluntarily but I chose not to pay for her helplessness.. her leniency with others.This makes me realise another fact all of a sudden. I actually try to please people whom I want to.. who arent easily pleased while I completely ignore those ( like my Mom) whom I take for granted..
What you give is what you get back. This seems to be a cycle. You ignore people who love you, care less for them and run after those who dont care for you as much as Why? I wish I could answer that.Back to the topic of happiness being built around others.. I learnt this lesson the tough way. Its exactly when I look for support and love from others, I find them missing. When I find myself lonely in a crowd and see how even the near and dear ones have gone that extra mile or compromised to find happiness for their own self.. I realise that I need to change. I feel this every now and then and I try to change but somehow end up getting back to being my older self... wish I change someday and things tend to being right for me...
Somehow I feel that how much ever women pose to be or want to be self reliant or independent its tough for them. I might be wrong in generalizing but this is how I find it. I see that my happiness is mostly built around others.. their acceptance and acknowledgment. Please don't read this as "sacrifice" or being " selfless" cuz its still " my" happiness. All the time, I expect others to keep me happy and it
has never come from within except for very very rare instances. Right from childhood its been that way. I do a painting..I need that nod from my Dad to feel good about it be it the best or worst of my paintings. Its another thing that my Dad loves me too much to say anything bad about it. This way.. he has pampered me and kept me away from what is the real world. when he got tired and let me to face it.. it threatened me and I was almost lost for sometime. I kept running from one to another be it my work.. me singing or painting, writing.. sharing a joke.. expressing love and affection .. For both the simplest and most complicated things I needed acceptance from others. Few of them are fortunate enough to get it from one or the other all the time. Few like me, who wish to be self reliant in few matters and dependent in other situations find it difficult because of the conflicting interests. When things that I do for others, ignoring the pain and hardship involved
expecting nothing in return but acknowledgment for the love ( not even reciprocation), goes unnoticed and worst.. is thrown back at me saying its of no use or never expected.. I feel hurt.
Women happiness is mostly built around people near and dear to them... which is why most of them are unhappy. I wont say this is as nature.. its in the way we are brought up. Its changing these days..Unlike those of my age or my Moms generations, girls these days are changing. They know what they want for their own self, have likes and dislikes of their own and know how to demand or get it. Earlier I used to despise them.. felt they were selfish. over smart or cunning. However then I realise that there has been lot of times when I have belonged to that category ..Even while I am sitting here writing this, my Moms out in the kitchen washing dishes.. I could have opted to help her but didn't as I am selfish.. Still, I cant but feel guilty about it which is why I chose to help her whenever she asks me to though not voluntarily. She would be really glad if I do it voluntarily but I chose not to pay for her helplessness.. her leniency with others.This makes me realise another fact all of a sudden. I actually try to please people whom I want to.. who arent easily pleased while I completely ignore those ( like my Mom) whom I take for granted..
What you give is what you get back. This seems to be a cycle. You ignore people who love you, care less for them and run after those who dont care for you as much as Why? I wish I could answer that.Back to the topic of happiness being built around others.. I learnt this lesson the tough way. Its exactly when I look for support and love from others, I find them missing. When I find myself lonely in a crowd and see how even the near and dear ones have gone that extra mile or compromised to find happiness for their own self.. I realise that I need to change. I feel this every now and then and I try to change but somehow end up getting back to being my older self... wish I change someday and things tend to being right for me...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Why should God exist
I personally don't know or cant prove whether God exists or not. Irritated by those who take God as an excuse for their inability, I have chosen God to be related to all those good and nice things that exist, good deeds done, unconditional love, anything and everything good within and around us.I see God even in music.. in its healing power.This not only seems to be rational ( others usually don't attach logic to God) but always helps me refrain from hurting others or my own self in the name of God.. ex.. few traditional beliefs demands life sacrifice,breaking coconuts on your head etc..
There are people who ruin their life with their own stupid choices and wash their hands off later when their decisions fail blaming it on Gods will.These are people who give love to some unknown unseen power called God than sharing it with fellow humanbeings who suffer and rot everyday in this mean materialistic world. God, according to these people, will take care of those people who are actually their responsibility.
The way people treat God, if they treat their fellow beings, life would be better off for them and those around them.They dont blame God if something bad happens to them, they spend time with God, they offer him gifts, they love him unconditionally, they
confide in him. Isn't this what all human beings need or crave for from their loved ones?
Now, whether we believe or not, having faith/fear in God always helps.I am not sure how many of those who claim to have faith in God really believe in his/her( well, there sure IS a probability of God being Her.. isn't it.. though conventionally its been otherwise) existence. Faith has a condition attached to it. Not to question. It has to be unconditional. For, when you are really lonely, desperate and helpless
with no one to look up to, you have God! And you always have him unlike those people around you who claim to love and care for you but are not there when you actually need them. To top it all, God is conveniently invisible. The omnipotent God is someone who needs to be felt, not seen. Now how favorable that can be to a desperate soul. He doesn't need proof.. he just has to believe that there is someone. It gives a lot of help, relief and peace.On the other hand, if its fear as against faith, that helps too. It forces people to be good, stay away from the bad.
It all depends on the perspective. We always have a choice.. to see the good from bad, to chose to help than ignore, to smile instead of sulk, to see light in darkness, to believe in the goodness in us than feeling unworthy and desperate, to put the devil to sleep and awaken the Godliness within.. Its in all these and more that God exists..rather should exist. Todays world needs him.
There are people who ruin their life with their own stupid choices and wash their hands off later when their decisions fail blaming it on Gods will.These are people who give love to some unknown unseen power called God than sharing it with fellow humanbeings who suffer and rot everyday in this mean materialistic world. God, according to these people, will take care of those people who are actually their responsibility.
The way people treat God, if they treat their fellow beings, life would be better off for them and those around them.They dont blame God if something bad happens to them, they spend time with God, they offer him gifts, they love him unconditionally, they
confide in him. Isn't this what all human beings need or crave for from their loved ones?
Now, whether we believe or not, having faith/fear in God always helps.I am not sure how many of those who claim to have faith in God really believe in his/her( well, there sure IS a probability of God being Her.. isn't it.. though conventionally its been otherwise) existence. Faith has a condition attached to it. Not to question. It has to be unconditional. For, when you are really lonely, desperate and helpless
with no one to look up to, you have God! And you always have him unlike those people around you who claim to love and care for you but are not there when you actually need them. To top it all, God is conveniently invisible. The omnipotent God is someone who needs to be felt, not seen. Now how favorable that can be to a desperate soul. He doesn't need proof.. he just has to believe that there is someone. It gives a lot of help, relief and peace.On the other hand, if its fear as against faith, that helps too. It forces people to be good, stay away from the bad.
It all depends on the perspective. We always have a choice.. to see the good from bad, to chose to help than ignore, to smile instead of sulk, to see light in darkness, to believe in the goodness in us than feeling unworthy and desperate, to put the devil to sleep and awaken the Godliness within.. Its in all these and more that God exists..rather should exist. Todays world needs him.
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