I resorted to logging my thoughts in a word doc during those intial days when I missed being connected to net.. This is dt.30 March 2010. A year has flown past and lot of things have changed now..
Mangalpuram
New job, new place, new team, new look.. Life seems nice all of a sudden
When I got the offer, there was the usual hesitation and resistance to change.. in addition to which I didnt get to hear anything positive about this place People didnt seem to know much about this place except communal sensitivity and very hot weather. Its human tendency to remember such things forget the good as mundane. Coimbatore is still remembered for the blasts that happened more than a decade back though the population there doesnt. Applying the same logic here I decided to take it a shot. The weather which is considered as bad by " normal" beings was ok for me due to the abnormalities nature of my health and it was a good point to convince my Parents and bro. Now about Mangalore
1. For two masala dosas, one plate sambar vada, two coffees all you pay is 52 bucks. tasty simple food. My Dad was shocked.You get full dabba of leechi icecream for just 30 rs!!! I was shocked
2. Auto men stick to meter and dont harass you. They pay you back the change even if its one re( Chennaites and cbeians reading this.. Believe me..it IS TRUE)
3. Traffic though not so organised is less comparitively.
4. City is yet to develop in terms of the no of IT or ITES companies however already has happenign malls in the place
5. Though few farmlands are being cleared,, there is still lot of greenery around
6. Women are beautiful ( MLR gave India her first Miss World). Men are ok ok but then mostly decent and disciplined.
7. The place where I work,, our country manager prefers to take the bus to office and eat the not so good yet no so bad food at cafeteria along with the team, steps out for women to enter the lift first..(( OH.. I ADORE HIM) He hails from Mangalore..
8. I have not so troublesome colleagues.. no trouble so far team with good friendly open minded members
Than everything else, the smile I had almost lost somewhere down the line is back in my face
All this could be just because of the fancy in place and people being new... I still dont mind.. for these days are the good ones I am having after a very loooooooong time.I love Mangalore for that
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
KISS
Did I mention earlier I shall keep my posts smaller? Its end of Jan and resolutions start to fade by now.
BTW, the title is a abbreviation used in Communication skills Training sessions- To Keep It Short and Simple( or sweet). I managed to keep the title atleast that way
BTW, the title is a abbreviation used in Communication skills Training sessions- To Keep It Short and Simple( or sweet). I managed to keep the title atleast that way
Phir mile sur??? Nowhere close
When I saw a mention about this in the net, I immediately logged into youtube to see the video. It definitely had a grand opening with ARR on Continuum and my expectations soared that very moment. ARR on this instrument reminded me of the haunting but awesome music in Delhi 6(Rehna Tu) An all pervasive, reverberating, melancholic still sought after music that lingers on for long.So.. grand opening it was. Did the rest meet my expectations? Hardly.
The benefit of doubt that remakes and remix dont satisfy people who tend to compare it with the original, doesnt hold good here.
I have watched Mile Sur a million times on DD in my teens. It had the effect close to that of our National Anthem in me and maybe a little more enthusiasm/commercial masala effect due to the presence of cinestars, musicians and other famous personalties.Even today when I hear/see the old version,it has the same effect, not to mention nostalgic. The latest one is a complete disappointment that way. Forget partriotism..it just seems just as a hurried attempt to remake a masterpiece by lining up celebrities.
I found even Sonu Nigams singing a little out of place. Deepika should have saved that dress for the ramps. Why did Aamir choose to sing this one in Aye.. kya bolti style? Heights! Shahrukh could have spared atleast this one of his boring outdated arm stretching posture.
On the other hand, you find almost all of the great musicians and artists of the country there doing their part in the most sincere and beautiful manner possible( Sivamani rocks).I guess Vikrams tried it himself and he sounds good, not sure though. Priyanka should have tried as well for the singer she is claimed to be and could have avoided coming out so strange. Big Bs voice creates the usual magic.Aishwarya does her part by looking stunning as ever and holding hands with her husband. Salman with the kids is a touching, heart warming addition. Individually, most have done justice - but the mixing together is totally messed up. So there is Sur.. but why is the essence of it interwining and coming out as a whole missing big time? You see gaps and holes in the whole which the popularity of the participants has failed to hide.
Also, Where is the common man?? Is India all about Cinema and Sports? I really miss the shy malayalee atop an elephant going "ente swaramum.." slanting his face and moving histhin body to the music, the bunch of oldies getting off the train, the man on the boat in Kashmir lake.. How can a Indian relate himself to this one like the earlier one which showed a part of him in there? The earlier one celebrated both the significant and simple aspects of India while this one seems like a toast for the successful ones only
The benefit of doubt that remakes and remix dont satisfy people who tend to compare it with the original, doesnt hold good here.
I have watched Mile Sur a million times on DD in my teens. It had the effect close to that of our National Anthem in me and maybe a little more enthusiasm/commercial masala effect due to the presence of cinestars, musicians and other famous personalties.Even today when I hear/see the old version,it has the same effect, not to mention nostalgic. The latest one is a complete disappointment that way. Forget partriotism..it just seems just as a hurried attempt to remake a masterpiece by lining up celebrities.
I found even Sonu Nigams singing a little out of place. Deepika should have saved that dress for the ramps. Why did Aamir choose to sing this one in Aye.. kya bolti style? Heights! Shahrukh could have spared atleast this one of his boring outdated arm stretching posture.
On the other hand, you find almost all of the great musicians and artists of the country there doing their part in the most sincere and beautiful manner possible( Sivamani rocks).I guess Vikrams tried it himself and he sounds good, not sure though. Priyanka should have tried as well for the singer she is claimed to be and could have avoided coming out so strange. Big Bs voice creates the usual magic.Aishwarya does her part by looking stunning as ever and holding hands with her husband. Salman with the kids is a touching, heart warming addition. Individually, most have done justice - but the mixing together is totally messed up. So there is Sur.. but why is the essence of it interwining and coming out as a whole missing big time? You see gaps and holes in the whole which the popularity of the participants has failed to hide.
Also, Where is the common man?? Is India all about Cinema and Sports? I really miss the shy malayalee atop an elephant going "ente swaramum.." slanting his face and moving histhin body to the music, the bunch of oldies getting off the train, the man on the boat in Kashmir lake.. How can a Indian relate himself to this one like the earlier one which showed a part of him in there? The earlier one celebrated both the significant and simple aspects of India while this one seems like a toast for the successful ones only
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Why blog?
Aasai arubadhu naal, mogam muppathu naal- This is usally said to denote that the fancy of love/lust/marriage dies quickly, a max of 90 days. I think it applies to all. Even blogging. I started it few months back and now I dont seem to get a chance or mindset to post something regularly as before. Why start then? People always want to try something new when there is no loss/harm in trying. So did I. Why do people blog. These are few things I could come up with. Maybe others can add
1. They are bored and got nothing else to do
2. They want to share information
3. Voice their opinion( you dont have to worry if any one is listening. so convenient)
4. Avoid debating as a consequence of 3. Moderate or remove comments
5. Bring out the writer in them or test writing skills
6. Portray they're net savvy - am the Gen X Y Z Z1 Z2 Z3 group( I wonder why they started with X..maybe the one who coined it thought the world would disappear in three to four decades from then). Or is it something I am not aware of.
7. Connect with the rest of the world
8. Can write better than talk.
9. Just for fun
10. Get no strings attached companions.
I sqeezed my brains so hard and could comeup with nothing more.I , btw, belong to category 1.
Having noted that my posts are way too long mostly and that its the age of "Twittering" I am going to try to convey more in less. That again sounds convenient for now. Not sure if it will work out for me
1. They are bored and got nothing else to do
2. They want to share information
3. Voice their opinion( you dont have to worry if any one is listening. so convenient)
4. Avoid debating as a consequence of 3. Moderate or remove comments
5. Bring out the writer in them or test writing skills
6. Portray they're net savvy - am the Gen X Y Z Z1 Z2 Z3 group( I wonder why they started with X..maybe the one who coined it thought the world would disappear in three to four decades from then). Or is it something I am not aware of.
7. Connect with the rest of the world
8. Can write better than talk.
9. Just for fun
10. Get no strings attached companions.
I sqeezed my brains so hard and could comeup with nothing more.I , btw, belong to category 1.
Having noted that my posts are way too long mostly and that its the age of "Twittering" I am going to try to convey more in less. That again sounds convenient for now. Not sure if it will work out for me
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
To help or not to
One of my friends recently narrated this incident that happened in the bus and how bad he felt for not being able to help a woman who fell down flat on her face when the bus braked suddenly. She was standing next to him. He could have prevented her fall if at all he had held her while she was falling. I asked him why he hadn't. He said he was afraid to be mistaken. Now, is a fall embarrassing or a man holding you ( which means physical contact)to prevent the fall.
I was at the chennai station a little too early for my train and was waiting at the platform. A man not the conventional " decent looking" type came to me with his luggage- few blankets, a big shopper and another bag and asked me if I could watch it for him when he went out to do/get something. When I hesitated he said " just five mins". I accepted. And then all the worrying started. I looked at the bags and was wondering what was inside them. I tried finding reasons to justify my decision which only made it worse. He was actually seated earlier next to a North Indian family and it would have been easier for him to have asked them. Why me? Every minute seemed like hours and he hadnt turned up even after ten mins. I forgot the bags ( including mine) and started gazing around and far to get signs of him coming and/op look for some help. I realised that many of them had worn similar color combination dress like him. I started wondering if I need to tell someone about this and saw a cop. Thankfully before I I went to him this man came back. He showed me his ticket and said he was not able to make the coach number because of the poor print. It looked anything similar to S5 S3 S8 and S9. He had gone searching the charts for his name. I tried to look at other numbers printed, matched it and told him it would probably be 8 or 9. How nice it would have been if he had told this to me earlier.
Few months back, a lady came to my house for a survey. She informed me that she is doing a survey on consumer behavior patterns on behalf of AC Neilson. Having worked for Call centers and in outbound calling for more than two years, I usually try to be nice to these people. I felt a fully filled survey form is definitely going to fetch her some money. Why shouldn't I help her. I started answering the questions and it took more than half hour. I brought her inside the house as it started raining mid way.
After she left I went over the questions she asked. There were some very suspicious ones
1. Who are all the earning members in the family
2. What time does your brother come in and go out( She said as per her sampling , she was supposed to question the third member ( as per age) in the family and that will help her more
3. What brand TV, Fridge, Washing machine, computer, phone do you have
4. What brand shoes do you buy
5. How often do you watch movies and where you go and when you go
6. What time does everyone watch tv at home
She asked a lot many questions and I had also refused to give her some.,.ex, salary range, phone numbers however I had given her enough info to find out when there will be people in my house and what items we have, their value. Next few days I wasnt able to sleep peacefully and would wake up at the slightest sound.I still dont know if what I had done was right or not.
Similar confusions happen when I pay beggars( especially after watching Naan Kadavul). There are many who ridicule/scold me for paying them. " Kai kaal iruku la..ozhachu sambathikalam thaanay". This statement fills me with rage. Why the hell would someone resort to begging if they had other options to live. If its about being lazy, is begging as easy? Would you resort to begging at any point to save physical or mental strain?. But then, you never know. I finally decided that anyways I would pay them. Firstly, I try to buy them food if hunger is the problem else pay. Where it goes and how its used is not my problem. Even if I paid hundred of them and 99 cheated, its worth " being fooled" for the sake of one.
Many of us might have reasons ( genuine enough at times) for not being able to help. However at most times, we just look for excuses. Other than the fact that I am an AR fan, I love this song "Pray for me brother" for this one single line coined. - ARE YOU SEARCHING.. FOR A REASON.. TO BE KIND..
I was at the chennai station a little too early for my train and was waiting at the platform. A man not the conventional " decent looking" type came to me with his luggage- few blankets, a big shopper and another bag and asked me if I could watch it for him when he went out to do/get something. When I hesitated he said " just five mins". I accepted. And then all the worrying started. I looked at the bags and was wondering what was inside them. I tried finding reasons to justify my decision which only made it worse. He was actually seated earlier next to a North Indian family and it would have been easier for him to have asked them. Why me? Every minute seemed like hours and he hadnt turned up even after ten mins. I forgot the bags ( including mine) and started gazing around and far to get signs of him coming and/op look for some help. I realised that many of them had worn similar color combination dress like him. I started wondering if I need to tell someone about this and saw a cop. Thankfully before I I went to him this man came back. He showed me his ticket and said he was not able to make the coach number because of the poor print. It looked anything similar to S5 S3 S8 and S9. He had gone searching the charts for his name. I tried to look at other numbers printed, matched it and told him it would probably be 8 or 9. How nice it would have been if he had told this to me earlier.
Few months back, a lady came to my house for a survey. She informed me that she is doing a survey on consumer behavior patterns on behalf of AC Neilson. Having worked for Call centers and in outbound calling for more than two years, I usually try to be nice to these people. I felt a fully filled survey form is definitely going to fetch her some money. Why shouldn't I help her. I started answering the questions and it took more than half hour. I brought her inside the house as it started raining mid way.
After she left I went over the questions she asked. There were some very suspicious ones
1. Who are all the earning members in the family
2. What time does your brother come in and go out( She said as per her sampling , she was supposed to question the third member ( as per age) in the family and that will help her more
3. What brand TV, Fridge, Washing machine, computer, phone do you have
4. What brand shoes do you buy
5. How often do you watch movies and where you go and when you go
6. What time does everyone watch tv at home
She asked a lot many questions and I had also refused to give her some.,.ex, salary range, phone numbers however I had given her enough info to find out when there will be people in my house and what items we have, their value. Next few days I wasnt able to sleep peacefully and would wake up at the slightest sound.I still dont know if what I had done was right or not.
Similar confusions happen when I pay beggars( especially after watching Naan Kadavul). There are many who ridicule/scold me for paying them. " Kai kaal iruku la..ozhachu sambathikalam thaanay". This statement fills me with rage. Why the hell would someone resort to begging if they had other options to live. If its about being lazy, is begging as easy? Would you resort to begging at any point to save physical or mental strain?. But then, you never know. I finally decided that anyways I would pay them. Firstly, I try to buy them food if hunger is the problem else pay. Where it goes and how its used is not my problem. Even if I paid hundred of them and 99 cheated, its worth " being fooled" for the sake of one.
Many of us might have reasons ( genuine enough at times) for not being able to help. However at most times, we just look for excuses. Other than the fact that I am an AR fan, I love this song "Pray for me brother" for this one single line coined. - ARE YOU SEARCHING.. FOR A REASON.. TO BE KIND..
Its their age: Keen observation and striking intelligence
A decade back it was the day of the youth.Nowadays,its their kids'.. kids upto the age of eight are now leaving the youth behind. They intelligent than us, learn quickly through keen observation and an open mind which doesnt exist in the elders as it gets corrupted by experiences in life over years. The exposure they get and the easy access to information has made the difference. Todays Parents,the youth of yester years put all their love, care and intelligence in bringing up their kids, gave them all they had wanted from their Parents but failed to get. However, these kids have left them wondering if what have done is right or wrong. They border lines of overconfidence, so sure about what they want and dont look for advice and neither listen.Tricking them is almost ruled out but there is great possibility of them tricking us. Is this intelligence for good is what we need to be thinking.
My neighbours son who is two years old, was having a chocolate. when I asked him if I can share a bite ,, he says " Yeh Devayi hai" ( This is medicine). He must have learnt it from someone else. Only that this time he applied it to his favor.
When I took my sisters kid who visited us for her vacation for purchase, she just wontstop showing me pieces which she felt would definitely look good on me. Two mins after I enquire the attendant about a piece on whether its cotton or not, she pulls up another one and asks him " Is this cotton or metal? My periyamma doesnt want metal" She probably heard "material" as metal and was testing the knowledge she just gained. The attendant laughs " Metal a ??". She doesnt want to give up says " yeah.. dont you know metal.. Pithalai" I had to pull her out of the conversation when she got this response " Paapa pathira kadai poyichu pola inga vara munnadi" ( kid probably went shopping for vessels before coming here ).
My 4 year old neices' favorite pass time is Role play. Her name is Niranjani
Niranjani: Amma.. you are Niranjani and I am amma
Her mom: Ok
Niranjani: Niranjini.. how long its been since you woke up.. brush your teeth.. NOW
Her mom: OK
Niranjani: Oh Amma. Dont spoilt it. Do I say yes. I say No
Amma ( laughs): No mummy.. I wont
Niranjani: I am going to be angry now.. you better brush..
She gets bored at this point and comes to my Dad
Niranjani: Thatha. I am the chef. You want food. Ok?
Thatha: mmm...
Niranjani: What tiffin do you want?
Thatha: ( pretends not to understand intending to irritate her..) What?
Niranjani: Thatha.. What "TIFFIN" do you want? ( with little more volume and stress on the word Tiffin)
Thatha: What???
Niranjani: Oh thatha " What mum mum do you want?"
I can use this as an illustration for " paraphrasing " technique on call when training my team on phone etiquette. What we have to train adults to say and do, these kids know and do it naturally and by default.
All these sound good and nice still there are a lot of things to worry about as well.
My colleagues daughter wants her mom to wait until the hero/heroine undress before changing channels. If at all her Mom dares to, she says " they still have their clothes on .. why do you have to change the channel.. am enjoying watching it"
My sisters kid comments on catching me singing.. " Why do you always sing melody- ..You look so sad.. I feel sorry for you.." I asked her what then would make her feel that I am happy. She goes " sing nakka mukka or kathazhe kannalay". Thats the effect TV and media has on them.
My 12 yr old cousin doesnt want her mom to go to Parents teachers meet without straightening her frizzy hair. That is the importance they give to external beauty. I recently saw an ad where this girl says that she is ready to clean her room or worse even do dishes (!!!) if God can make here pimple vanish before the DJ night. Here cleanliness is about being without a pimple. Kids who are 8 or 9 yrs get waxing done on body hair. Hygiene, health and beauty are confused with one another. If clean skin has to be fair and flawless, where would all the dark skinned or pimpled population go
Talking about ads, Virgin mobile ads irritate me to the core. The entire value system is questioned and made fun of. Many of them expect me to see the humor and ignore it, what about the kids who grow up watching it everyday? Generation gap? I dont know.
Well, I started somewhere and deviated to these topics. Getting back,Are we going to feed their intelligence with something good or let them turn into a bunch whose values would be nothing but materialistic and fake? What about their life after their thirties when the charm and intelligence starts to fade, life becomes lonely and monotonous?
My neighbours son who is two years old, was having a chocolate. when I asked him if I can share a bite ,, he says " Yeh Devayi hai" ( This is medicine). He must have learnt it from someone else. Only that this time he applied it to his favor.
When I took my sisters kid who visited us for her vacation for purchase, she just wontstop showing me pieces which she felt would definitely look good on me. Two mins after I enquire the attendant about a piece on whether its cotton or not, she pulls up another one and asks him " Is this cotton or metal? My periyamma doesnt want metal" She probably heard "material" as metal and was testing the knowledge she just gained. The attendant laughs " Metal a ??". She doesnt want to give up says " yeah.. dont you know metal.. Pithalai" I had to pull her out of the conversation when she got this response " Paapa pathira kadai poyichu pola inga vara munnadi" ( kid probably went shopping for vessels before coming here ).
My 4 year old neices' favorite pass time is Role play. Her name is Niranjani
Niranjani: Amma.. you are Niranjani and I am amma
Her mom: Ok
Niranjani: Niranjini.. how long its been since you woke up.. brush your teeth.. NOW
Her mom: OK
Niranjani: Oh Amma. Dont spoilt it. Do I say yes. I say No
Amma ( laughs): No mummy.. I wont
Niranjani: I am going to be angry now.. you better brush..
She gets bored at this point and comes to my Dad
Niranjani: Thatha. I am the chef. You want food. Ok?
Thatha: mmm...
Niranjani: What tiffin do you want?
Thatha: ( pretends not to understand intending to irritate her..) What?
Niranjani: Thatha.. What "TIFFIN" do you want? ( with little more volume and stress on the word Tiffin)
Thatha: What???
Niranjani: Oh thatha " What mum mum do you want?"
I can use this as an illustration for " paraphrasing " technique on call when training my team on phone etiquette. What we have to train adults to say and do, these kids know and do it naturally and by default.
All these sound good and nice still there are a lot of things to worry about as well.
My colleagues daughter wants her mom to wait until the hero/heroine undress before changing channels. If at all her Mom dares to, she says " they still have their clothes on .. why do you have to change the channel.. am enjoying watching it"
My sisters kid comments on catching me singing.. " Why do you always sing melody- ..You look so sad.. I feel sorry for you.." I asked her what then would make her feel that I am happy. She goes " sing nakka mukka or kathazhe kannalay". Thats the effect TV and media has on them.
My 12 yr old cousin doesnt want her mom to go to Parents teachers meet without straightening her frizzy hair. That is the importance they give to external beauty. I recently saw an ad where this girl says that she is ready to clean her room or worse even do dishes (!!!) if God can make here pimple vanish before the DJ night. Here cleanliness is about being without a pimple. Kids who are 8 or 9 yrs get waxing done on body hair. Hygiene, health and beauty are confused with one another. If clean skin has to be fair and flawless, where would all the dark skinned or pimpled population go
Talking about ads, Virgin mobile ads irritate me to the core. The entire value system is questioned and made fun of. Many of them expect me to see the humor and ignore it, what about the kids who grow up watching it everyday? Generation gap? I dont know.
Well, I started somewhere and deviated to these topics. Getting back,Are we going to feed their intelligence with something good or let them turn into a bunch whose values would be nothing but materialistic and fake? What about their life after their thirties when the charm and intelligence starts to fade, life becomes lonely and monotonous?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Women and travel
Two recent incidents, one involving a close friend of mine and another to which i was a silent spectator has made me give a lot of thought to this...
One of my friends who traveled from chennai to cbe in the night train alone had a tough time with a co passenger.Based on what he was talking over the phone she was able to make it that he was disturbed.. He took her water bottle and gulped it down fully without even bothering to ask her.. spilled food all over her seat and on top of it offered a 1000rs note when she complained about the water later. In addition he kept talking nonsense. And the climax.. to avoid facing him further.. she retired early only to catch him taking a snap of her using his mobile.. the rest of the passengers in the coach were immersed in themselves ( two were honeymoon couples on the way to ooty probably is what she said). When she complained to the TTR about the snap he brought in policemen and they said they cant do anything unless she files a complaint.This man was still behaving funny but the police wanted her to prove that he had indeed taken a snap of her.The other passengers in her coach were indifferent and couldnt/ didnt want to come forward. luckily a man from the press insisted that they take a look at his mobile.. even then they could make nothing but a blurred image ( obviously) and finally matched it to her face and dress somehow.Now.. the TTR arranged to give her another seat and the police gave a word to protect her. Still, she was alone when she got down at cbe.. what if the man followed her???If not anything else , she had lost her good nights sleep, peace, felt vulnerable and would never again be comfortable travelling alone in the night.
I had always dreaded night travel after having heard terror stories from other women and friends..of men brushing against.. putting their hands " accidentally " on you while passing by.. men smoking/ standing near the toilets etc..
Forget about the public acting/reacting/ helping women in such cases, the second incident shows how they wont even acknowledge the problems but make fun of it. I had to travel by bus to bangalore recently and could get tickets only by KPN. There was a girl who took the window seat next to me and her uncle/ dad had come to see her off. The man was little bit concerned about her travelling alone and kept advising her. He went to the driver then to enquire where the bus would make stops for food or refreshment.. the driverwent on to say" whenever needed". The old man insisted asking.. but dont you stop regularly at some place.. the driver says " We cant.. How can I find out when your daugther needs to piss.. she has to come and inform and we will stop ( the translated version looks less ugly.. these were his exact words " unga ponnuku eppo onnuku varum nu enaku eppidinga theriyum".. ) and laughed. He was so impressed at his quick wits that he repeated the same aloud so that the entire bus can hear it.The oldman couldnt retort obviously as his daugther still had to take the bus. I really havent known any woman travelling alone go to the driver and ask the bus to stop at some place... except for ones very old.. Even if they do.. how safe and convenient is it for them to attend to the natures call in such places.. This may sound cliched however would the driver like someone talking to his mom/sis/wife in the same manner.
Not only these,, its quite common to see men occupying " magalir mattum" seats in the bus. The conductors dont bother either even if someone complains. There are sarcastic comments passed sometimes " you say you are equal to men.. why dont you stand n come?".I dont expect them to give their seats away to healthy and young women.. cant they do it at least for the elderly women/ men.
Further,freedom/comfort in terms of dressing is also misunderstand..I am little conservative with respect to skin show however dont mind wearing clothes that are comfortable and fit the occasion n place. Still it doesnt mean that a man can comfortably rub against me while sitting next to me in the train just because I sport a jean. I have seen a very different behaviour when I wear a salwar which has that traditional look.. Modern dressing( even if decent) is considered as a sign of " accesibility" and different value system.
Still, in spite of all these inconveniences women manage to travel to work and earn. Working women MIGHT have financial freedom but it hasnt come in the easy and convenient way as it seems to be.
One of my friends who traveled from chennai to cbe in the night train alone had a tough time with a co passenger.Based on what he was talking over the phone she was able to make it that he was disturbed.. He took her water bottle and gulped it down fully without even bothering to ask her.. spilled food all over her seat and on top of it offered a 1000rs note when she complained about the water later. In addition he kept talking nonsense. And the climax.. to avoid facing him further.. she retired early only to catch him taking a snap of her using his mobile.. the rest of the passengers in the coach were immersed in themselves ( two were honeymoon couples on the way to ooty probably is what she said). When she complained to the TTR about the snap he brought in policemen and they said they cant do anything unless she files a complaint.This man was still behaving funny but the police wanted her to prove that he had indeed taken a snap of her.The other passengers in her coach were indifferent and couldnt/ didnt want to come forward. luckily a man from the press insisted that they take a look at his mobile.. even then they could make nothing but a blurred image ( obviously) and finally matched it to her face and dress somehow.Now.. the TTR arranged to give her another seat and the police gave a word to protect her. Still, she was alone when she got down at cbe.. what if the man followed her???If not anything else , she had lost her good nights sleep, peace, felt vulnerable and would never again be comfortable travelling alone in the night.
I had always dreaded night travel after having heard terror stories from other women and friends..of men brushing against.. putting their hands " accidentally " on you while passing by.. men smoking/ standing near the toilets etc..
Forget about the public acting/reacting/ helping women in such cases, the second incident shows how they wont even acknowledge the problems but make fun of it. I had to travel by bus to bangalore recently and could get tickets only by KPN. There was a girl who took the window seat next to me and her uncle/ dad had come to see her off. The man was little bit concerned about her travelling alone and kept advising her. He went to the driver then to enquire where the bus would make stops for food or refreshment.. the driverwent on to say" whenever needed". The old man insisted asking.. but dont you stop regularly at some place.. the driver says " We cant.. How can I find out when your daugther needs to piss.. she has to come and inform and we will stop ( the translated version looks less ugly.. these were his exact words " unga ponnuku eppo onnuku varum nu enaku eppidinga theriyum".. ) and laughed. He was so impressed at his quick wits that he repeated the same aloud so that the entire bus can hear it.The oldman couldnt retort obviously as his daugther still had to take the bus. I really havent known any woman travelling alone go to the driver and ask the bus to stop at some place... except for ones very old.. Even if they do.. how safe and convenient is it for them to attend to the natures call in such places.. This may sound cliched however would the driver like someone talking to his mom/sis/wife in the same manner.
Not only these,, its quite common to see men occupying " magalir mattum" seats in the bus. The conductors dont bother either even if someone complains. There are sarcastic comments passed sometimes " you say you are equal to men.. why dont you stand n come?".I dont expect them to give their seats away to healthy and young women.. cant they do it at least for the elderly women/ men.
Further,freedom/comfort in terms of dressing is also misunderstand..I am little conservative with respect to skin show however dont mind wearing clothes that are comfortable and fit the occasion n place. Still it doesnt mean that a man can comfortably rub against me while sitting next to me in the train just because I sport a jean. I have seen a very different behaviour when I wear a salwar which has that traditional look.. Modern dressing( even if decent) is considered as a sign of " accesibility" and different value system.
Still, in spite of all these inconveniences women manage to travel to work and earn. Working women MIGHT have financial freedom but it hasnt come in the easy and convenient way as it seems to be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)