One of my friends recently narrated this incident that happened in the bus and how bad he felt for not being able to help a woman who fell down flat on her face when the bus braked suddenly. She was standing next to him. He could have prevented her fall if at all he had held her while she was falling. I asked him why he hadn't. He said he was afraid to be mistaken. Now, is a fall embarrassing or a man holding you ( which means physical contact)to prevent the fall.
I was at the chennai station a little too early for my train and was waiting at the platform. A man not the conventional " decent looking" type came to me with his luggage- few blankets, a big shopper and another bag and asked me if I could watch it for him when he went out to do/get something. When I hesitated he said " just five mins". I accepted. And then all the worrying started. I looked at the bags and was wondering what was inside them. I tried finding reasons to justify my decision which only made it worse. He was actually seated earlier next to a North Indian family and it would have been easier for him to have asked them. Why me? Every minute seemed like hours and he hadnt turned up even after ten mins. I forgot the bags ( including mine) and started gazing around and far to get signs of him coming and/op look for some help. I realised that many of them had worn similar color combination dress like him. I started wondering if I need to tell someone about this and saw a cop. Thankfully before I I went to him this man came back. He showed me his ticket and said he was not able to make the coach number because of the poor print. It looked anything similar to S5 S3 S8 and S9. He had gone searching the charts for his name. I tried to look at other numbers printed, matched it and told him it would probably be 8 or 9. How nice it would have been if he had told this to me earlier.
Few months back, a lady came to my house for a survey. She informed me that she is doing a survey on consumer behavior patterns on behalf of AC Neilson. Having worked for Call centers and in outbound calling for more than two years, I usually try to be nice to these people. I felt a fully filled survey form is definitely going to fetch her some money. Why shouldn't I help her. I started answering the questions and it took more than half hour. I brought her inside the house as it started raining mid way.
After she left I went over the questions she asked. There were some very suspicious ones
1. Who are all the earning members in the family
2. What time does your brother come in and go out( She said as per her sampling , she was supposed to question the third member ( as per age) in the family and that will help her more
3. What brand TV, Fridge, Washing machine, computer, phone do you have
4. What brand shoes do you buy
5. How often do you watch movies and where you go and when you go
6. What time does everyone watch tv at home
She asked a lot many questions and I had also refused to give her some.,.ex, salary range, phone numbers however I had given her enough info to find out when there will be people in my house and what items we have, their value. Next few days I wasnt able to sleep peacefully and would wake up at the slightest sound.I still dont know if what I had done was right or not.
Similar confusions happen when I pay beggars( especially after watching Naan Kadavul). There are many who ridicule/scold me for paying them. " Kai kaal iruku la..ozhachu sambathikalam thaanay". This statement fills me with rage. Why the hell would someone resort to begging if they had other options to live. If its about being lazy, is begging as easy? Would you resort to begging at any point to save physical or mental strain?. But then, you never know. I finally decided that anyways I would pay them. Firstly, I try to buy them food if hunger is the problem else pay. Where it goes and how its used is not my problem. Even if I paid hundred of them and 99 cheated, its worth " being fooled" for the sake of one.
Many of us might have reasons ( genuine enough at times) for not being able to help. However at most times, we just look for excuses. Other than the fact that I am an AR fan, I love this song "Pray for me brother" for this one single line coined. - ARE YOU SEARCHING.. FOR A REASON.. TO BE KIND..
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Its their age: Keen observation and striking intelligence
A decade back it was the day of the youth.Nowadays,its their kids'.. kids upto the age of eight are now leaving the youth behind. They intelligent than us, learn quickly through keen observation and an open mind which doesnt exist in the elders as it gets corrupted by experiences in life over years. The exposure they get and the easy access to information has made the difference. Todays Parents,the youth of yester years put all their love, care and intelligence in bringing up their kids, gave them all they had wanted from their Parents but failed to get. However, these kids have left them wondering if what have done is right or wrong. They border lines of overconfidence, so sure about what they want and dont look for advice and neither listen.Tricking them is almost ruled out but there is great possibility of them tricking us. Is this intelligence for good is what we need to be thinking.
My neighbours son who is two years old, was having a chocolate. when I asked him if I can share a bite ,, he says " Yeh Devayi hai" ( This is medicine). He must have learnt it from someone else. Only that this time he applied it to his favor.
When I took my sisters kid who visited us for her vacation for purchase, she just wontstop showing me pieces which she felt would definitely look good on me. Two mins after I enquire the attendant about a piece on whether its cotton or not, she pulls up another one and asks him " Is this cotton or metal? My periyamma doesnt want metal" She probably heard "material" as metal and was testing the knowledge she just gained. The attendant laughs " Metal a ??". She doesnt want to give up says " yeah.. dont you know metal.. Pithalai" I had to pull her out of the conversation when she got this response " Paapa pathira kadai poyichu pola inga vara munnadi" ( kid probably went shopping for vessels before coming here ).
My 4 year old neices' favorite pass time is Role play. Her name is Niranjani
Niranjani: Amma.. you are Niranjani and I am amma
Her mom: Ok
Niranjani: Niranjini.. how long its been since you woke up.. brush your teeth.. NOW
Her mom: OK
Niranjani: Oh Amma. Dont spoilt it. Do I say yes. I say No
Amma ( laughs): No mummy.. I wont
Niranjani: I am going to be angry now.. you better brush..
She gets bored at this point and comes to my Dad
Niranjani: Thatha. I am the chef. You want food. Ok?
Thatha: mmm...
Niranjani: What tiffin do you want?
Thatha: ( pretends not to understand intending to irritate her..) What?
Niranjani: Thatha.. What "TIFFIN" do you want? ( with little more volume and stress on the word Tiffin)
Thatha: What???
Niranjani: Oh thatha " What mum mum do you want?"
I can use this as an illustration for " paraphrasing " technique on call when training my team on phone etiquette. What we have to train adults to say and do, these kids know and do it naturally and by default.
All these sound good and nice still there are a lot of things to worry about as well.
My colleagues daughter wants her mom to wait until the hero/heroine undress before changing channels. If at all her Mom dares to, she says " they still have their clothes on .. why do you have to change the channel.. am enjoying watching it"
My sisters kid comments on catching me singing.. " Why do you always sing melody- ..You look so sad.. I feel sorry for you.." I asked her what then would make her feel that I am happy. She goes " sing nakka mukka or kathazhe kannalay". Thats the effect TV and media has on them.
My 12 yr old cousin doesnt want her mom to go to Parents teachers meet without straightening her frizzy hair. That is the importance they give to external beauty. I recently saw an ad where this girl says that she is ready to clean her room or worse even do dishes (!!!) if God can make here pimple vanish before the DJ night. Here cleanliness is about being without a pimple. Kids who are 8 or 9 yrs get waxing done on body hair. Hygiene, health and beauty are confused with one another. If clean skin has to be fair and flawless, where would all the dark skinned or pimpled population go
Talking about ads, Virgin mobile ads irritate me to the core. The entire value system is questioned and made fun of. Many of them expect me to see the humor and ignore it, what about the kids who grow up watching it everyday? Generation gap? I dont know.
Well, I started somewhere and deviated to these topics. Getting back,Are we going to feed their intelligence with something good or let them turn into a bunch whose values would be nothing but materialistic and fake? What about their life after their thirties when the charm and intelligence starts to fade, life becomes lonely and monotonous?
My neighbours son who is two years old, was having a chocolate. when I asked him if I can share a bite ,, he says " Yeh Devayi hai" ( This is medicine). He must have learnt it from someone else. Only that this time he applied it to his favor.
When I took my sisters kid who visited us for her vacation for purchase, she just wontstop showing me pieces which she felt would definitely look good on me. Two mins after I enquire the attendant about a piece on whether its cotton or not, she pulls up another one and asks him " Is this cotton or metal? My periyamma doesnt want metal" She probably heard "material" as metal and was testing the knowledge she just gained. The attendant laughs " Metal a ??". She doesnt want to give up says " yeah.. dont you know metal.. Pithalai" I had to pull her out of the conversation when she got this response " Paapa pathira kadai poyichu pola inga vara munnadi" ( kid probably went shopping for vessels before coming here ).
My 4 year old neices' favorite pass time is Role play. Her name is Niranjani
Niranjani: Amma.. you are Niranjani and I am amma
Her mom: Ok
Niranjani: Niranjini.. how long its been since you woke up.. brush your teeth.. NOW
Her mom: OK
Niranjani: Oh Amma. Dont spoilt it. Do I say yes. I say No
Amma ( laughs): No mummy.. I wont
Niranjani: I am going to be angry now.. you better brush..
She gets bored at this point and comes to my Dad
Niranjani: Thatha. I am the chef. You want food. Ok?
Thatha: mmm...
Niranjani: What tiffin do you want?
Thatha: ( pretends not to understand intending to irritate her..) What?
Niranjani: Thatha.. What "TIFFIN" do you want? ( with little more volume and stress on the word Tiffin)
Thatha: What???
Niranjani: Oh thatha " What mum mum do you want?"
I can use this as an illustration for " paraphrasing " technique on call when training my team on phone etiquette. What we have to train adults to say and do, these kids know and do it naturally and by default.
All these sound good and nice still there are a lot of things to worry about as well.
My colleagues daughter wants her mom to wait until the hero/heroine undress before changing channels. If at all her Mom dares to, she says " they still have their clothes on .. why do you have to change the channel.. am enjoying watching it"
My sisters kid comments on catching me singing.. " Why do you always sing melody- ..You look so sad.. I feel sorry for you.." I asked her what then would make her feel that I am happy. She goes " sing nakka mukka or kathazhe kannalay". Thats the effect TV and media has on them.
My 12 yr old cousin doesnt want her mom to go to Parents teachers meet without straightening her frizzy hair. That is the importance they give to external beauty. I recently saw an ad where this girl says that she is ready to clean her room or worse even do dishes (!!!) if God can make here pimple vanish before the DJ night. Here cleanliness is about being without a pimple. Kids who are 8 or 9 yrs get waxing done on body hair. Hygiene, health and beauty are confused with one another. If clean skin has to be fair and flawless, where would all the dark skinned or pimpled population go
Talking about ads, Virgin mobile ads irritate me to the core. The entire value system is questioned and made fun of. Many of them expect me to see the humor and ignore it, what about the kids who grow up watching it everyday? Generation gap? I dont know.
Well, I started somewhere and deviated to these topics. Getting back,Are we going to feed their intelligence with something good or let them turn into a bunch whose values would be nothing but materialistic and fake? What about their life after their thirties when the charm and intelligence starts to fade, life becomes lonely and monotonous?
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