With just about 7 years since I started to work, I have been “successful” in building a excellent career in terms of position and monetary benefits. I am single and my Parents support me a lot when it comes to work .They don’t mind if I work odd or late hours despite belonging to a rather conservative family, society and city. Mom does occasionally crib about my “lack of interest” in cooking and other house hold chores
Within such a short span of time and with as much favorable climate around, there have been so many problems and difficulties that I have faced at work and at home ( caused because I work) the root cause being my gender. There are a lot of questions that I have raised to myself every now and then but ignored as need of the hour then would have been to face another problem and not analyze and/or find answers. Few include
1. Do working women have more freedom and independence than those who are house wives ( women who actually do more work at home than us)
2. Do women face more challenges at work than men?
3. Given a choice, how many of us would resolve to be at home and look after husband and kids than otherwise. Which is easier and suitable?
4. Have we landed out there in the deep blue sea because we didn’t want to face the devil. If yes, how good are we at swimming and how equipped are we to face the tsunamis and the sharks?
5. How many of us would drop the job once the need had been fulfilled though the passion towards work still remained?
6. Do hikes and/or promotions become a nightmare than being a cherished moment, because of comments from colleagues that it was easy because of the gender
7. How many have faced complete insubordination from your team member or complete non co operation from your peer because of “why should I listen to a lady” types of opinion
8. How many of you have been branded as “dominating” though you have been as flexible and nice as possible?
9. How many of you found it easy to get the tasks done because you are a woman
10. How many have been ridiculed for inability in understanding electricity and hardware ? or for not being able to change gears in your vehicle as easily and efficiently as men do?
11. How many of you had to face the frown from elders and relatives because you couldn’t attend a function or a gathering because you had to be at work that time?
12. How many of you got laurels at work and love from family without you having to sacrifice one for other?
13. Why is that after a point all those women prefer to “work from home”?
In short are women working because they want to or is it because the men out there alone couldn’t manage it all by themselves in this fast world. How many are working because your family and society “allows’ you to work or “needs” you to work? Till date I feel that if there were no financial need in the family at the time I started I might not have stepped out to work, either because life is smooth and easier ( in conventional terms) otherwise or because my family may not be that happy with that option.
4 comments:
Hi,
U r not alone. i get this same feeling every now and then And I feel like quiting my job. But end up deciding that sticking to job is lot better than staying at home and as i have got used to it. I am marrried and there is no point in jus thinking abt it when I can not do anything abt it.
I am trying to stop thinking abt it and Jus live the moment with the pain n d ....
love
p
Nicole, First my wishes for your blog. Hope to see more blogs from you. I feel writing blogs, makes your heart feel lighter.
I might contradict you in one point. Gender comes into the scene when there is inability.. Today the work is all about not carrying loads on your shoulder or cutting down the tree in hours, but it's all within your fingers. Anyone talented, be it a guy or a gal, can do it. And, who excels in it, is the winner. If a guy is unable to outsmart a girl, then he reasons it on the gender. If it is the same with a gal, she blames it on the gender again.
One thing I agree is that a gal can think, if its time for her to sit back at home, but a guy can't.
You know, I'm a great admirer of Indira Gandhi (though I havent got a chance to be in her period, but have read a lot about her) and Jayalalitha. To be frank I'm the one who votes for DMK when it comes to elections(Don't ask me why, ha ha ha), but the courage of Jayalalitha is what I admire.
When a women can rule the home, why can't the nation??? And, out of my practical experience, if there are no women (at home and at work) then the world will be black and white for us, men. They are the one's who add colors to mens life.
And, Personally, you have a vital share in where I stand now, Thanks to that. Trust me, it all concludes to my favorite saying - "It all looks how you see things."
Its not about inability but about doing something which has been unconventional or unusual two decades back. The task becomes difficult because of that, the general mindset, the comfort zones especially in higher levels at work.
Talking about Jayalalitha and Indira Gandhi, I too adore them but the level we are looking at is different.And why are we talking about them- cuz they stand out.. as exceptions. I am talking about the middle class and average population that doesn't have the necessary support but only the need. Even in case of Indira Gandhi and Jayalalitha who knows what they had to lose to gain whatever you adore them for. Also Indira Gandhi had the Nehru stamp on her and Jayalalitha, a great mentor. If you able to pick other names you are picking them because they are exceptions and they stand out because of their gender!!!
and yes.. I do agree on the part that men cant chose to sit at home.. which is bad .. bias here again
Hi,
Jus read your blog. Good job, keep it going.
Apart from the monetary aspect or the ‘passion to work’ reasons, girls especially singles have one more significant reasons to come out to work too. Ha ha! Itz a big getaway from your ever curious neighbors / relatives and their never-ending questions. Wat do u say?
Luv,
Maddy
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